Fighting or fleeing emotions is very stressful. Most of us weren’t really raised to deal with emotions in a relaxed way. For a long time I didn’t dare to be angry myself. In fact, I didn’t even feel angry. Now I am learning that and find that it is immensely liberating.
A client came to me because her father passed away six months ago and she felt that the grieving would not stop. When I put her in the connected brain position (a position in which you can easily allow emotions) and gave her all the space and safety to be completely sad, something special happened. She later emailed me that she was no longer overwhelmed by grief at the most unexpected moments. Why? Because the sadness had been given all the space.
Another client told me she hadn’t cried in years. She had such a deep desire to cry, but she couldn’t. I did a constellation with her with a part of her that deeply believed she couldn’t cry, that it wasn’t safe to cry. When she looked that in the eye, her cheeks and lip began to tremble. Then her whole body started shaking and trembling. And then came the redeeming tears. It may sound crazy, but she felt deeply happy.
I regularly have clients who do not want to cry. Then you are actually fighting against your tears and they come at the most unexpected moments, violent as a tsunami. The moment you really fully accept that you have emotions, they can flow through your body and disappear a few minutes later. How do you deal with your emotions? Can they be there in full or do you judge them?
If you find it helpful to feel a little more relaxed about that, please know that from now on I also give Discovery Sessions.